Wednesday, June 1, 2016

I don't know

When you've had a pet for almost 14  years, how long does it take before you stop noticing they are no longer there? It's like a constant weight on my heart right now.

We picked up Frank's ashes last week, on Friday. The vet tech brought out what looked very much like a gift bag; it seemed strange but also thoughtful? I was distraught, visibly so I am sure. The vet tech was speaking to me very quietly and I couldn't hear a word she was saying, but Cory was listening and responding. When we got out to the car, I had to ask what she was saying. He said they made us a plaster paw and it was fragile, so I should be careful with it; I felt a bit bad that I hadn't acknowledged this, especially when I got home, looked at it and realized it was Frank's paw print.

I thought that I would maybe bury Frank's ashes out in the garden, under a bush where he liked to sleep. But then I realized that a) I'm not ready for that, and b) it's okay that I'm not ready; it can wait until it doesn't hurt so much to think about. I don't know when that will be, but some day I will get there.

My parents and brother were here for a visit this weekend. They brought some cuttings from rose bushes and a couple of little lilac bushes. We hope that the deer won't bother the rose bushes, and we've done our best to protect the little lilac bushes to give them a fighting chance.

I have not been doing much - some spring cleaning, trying to de-clutter and get rid of a few things. We're in to the beginning of garden season now, so I should really get out and start getting some things done. I haven't felt like it, but I also know I will probably feel better if I do.

My knee is better, still feels wrong if I happen to bump it, and I can't kneel down on it. I think I can still see a bit of a bump there, but I don't know if that is my imagination. I don't know if it just needs more time to heal or if I maybe I should have/still should get it checked out?

Anyway, between that and between me just wallowing and not feeling like doing much of anything, there hasn't been much in the way of exercise. However, it is time to start. I will start slow and see how it goes.

Mom & I did some shopping while she was here, and I bought this new table runner. Zappa thinks it makes a great lounging spot.

Climbing Rose that I hope will take root and survive.

Lilac bushes are in here....

Hopefully safe from these guys...

Yes, I am talking to you; don't give me that innocent face!

Tuesday, May 17, 2016

Saying Goodbye

Yesterday was not a good day. Today is only marginally better. Lots and lots of tears.

I will miss waking up in the morning to find Frank snuggled up by my feet. I will miss Frank rubbing his head against me in affection as I get cat food out of the cupboard; he was a big fan of meal time.

He often used to accompany me to the bathroom when it was time for me to get ready for bed at night. He would settle on the bath mat for belly rubs and pets. He actually liked to be covered with a towel; this would often lead to play time, but sometimes he would just sleep that way.

Sometimes he could be frustrating. I would be sitting in my chair in the living room and he would sit down by my chair and stare at me; I called it Frank face. He would lift up a paw and kind of wave it at me, which made us laugh; it was his way of saying I want you to get up and...Well, that tended to be the frustrating part; figuring out what he wanted. Sometimes I think he didn't know what he wanted either, other than for me to get up and follow him around.

I loved to pick him up and hold him because he was so large and solid, and yet so soft. It was comforting somehow.

He was a huge cat, and therefore had huge paws with appropriately large (and sharp!) claws, but he was gentle. He would wake me up by tapping my forehead with a paw. Much as I don't care to be woken in the middle of the night or early in the morning, it was still entertaining to see his face looking down and me, and this giant paw coming down on my forehead.

Fourteen years is a long time, and it feels like something is missing.

It helps that we still have Zappa, and  he has been extra snuggly. I am also more aware than ever that we have limited time left, but for now I'm trying to just enjoy the cuddles.

First & Last

The first photos  I ever posted of Frank (to the rear, and Zappa in front) on my blog. They would have been somewhere around 6 years old.

Frank loved to be outdoors.

Last photo of Frank on my camera, almost 14 years old. They've been enjoying the spring weather. I've been looking forward to summer and hanging out with them in the garden.

Good-bye, my friend. Thank you for giving us as many years as you were able. You will be missed.

Saturday, April 23, 2016

Ever have one of those days?

I made it through the first week of my new workout program! Feeling like this is a doable-thing.

Friday (yesterday) was a rest day, but I was hoping to sneak in a short yoga session; feeling like I could use a good stretch.

Did not happen.

Get up and head to kitchen to feed cats. Turn around from getting cat food out of cupboard to find Frank lying directly in my path. Attempt course correction, flailing wildly while trying to regain balance without stepping on cat and wondering if I've left anything breakable on the counter, where my flailing might lead to broken glass on our porcelain tile floor.

Manage to survive this without mishap, and continue on with my day. As I'm moving around the kitchen, tidying up, knock over broom, step on handle which slides causing me to come down hard on my knee. For the record? I do not recommend banging your knee down on porcelain tile. 

And finally, my cleaning lady comes and, while cleaning the kitchen, knocks the glass cruet that we use for sesame oil onto the floor. She has never broken anything before at my house and she felt really bad. I felt a little bad, I did like that cruet, but at that point it almost felt inevitable.

The bright spot in my day - literally - was the fact that it was a beautiful sunny day that almost felt like summer; being at home I was able to eat my lunch out on the deck and enjoy some sun. Frank kept me company.

Today was the start of Week 2 on my  new exercise plan. It was Chest & Triceps, so I figured I was okay to give that a go. I had forgotten there are a lot of pushups, and while I can do some from my toes, I can't do enough to get through a whole workout so I modified either by just keeping one knee down, or doing incline push ups with my hands on the bench.

Tomorrow is supposed to be legs, which I'm not so sure about; I'm still not bending my knee easily, and I can't imagine doing 50 minutes of squats and lunges. So not sure what will happen there, will have to wait and see.

Tuesday, April 19, 2016

Emerging from winter hibernation

I give up. The winter slump seems to be a thing for me now. The past few years it just seems that I lose my mojo over the winter. This wasn't even a hard winter; we didn't  get much snow, we didn't get a lot of cold weather - pretty much the way I like my winter to be! 

Just when I started  to get my energy back and feel like I wanted to do things I got sick...and sick again. I had a head cold...Just when I was starting to get over that, I got the flu and that has been hanging on and taking forever to go away. I still find that I am tired, but I am finally feeling better.

I started a new workout program on the weekend. Brand new legs workout on Sunday. Result being I've been stiff and sore and feeling like I am walking funny for the past two days.

Today I had a volunteer event with a group of coworkers. We went out and picked up garbage. What a mess. People are disgusting. Is it really so hard to hold onto your coffee cup and your food wrapper until you find a garbage can? And there was one area where I'm sure people were just dumping stuff. 

Anyway, I spent the morning hobbling around on my sore, stiff legs. I did enjoy the fresh air. Now I am really tired and ready for bed. It's 8 pm. Hopefully my muscle soreness will be over with by tomorrow.  

A spectator for part of our clean up effort.

The result of our efforts.

Sunday, December 6, 2015

November Non-Accomplishments

I had  goals. I had good intentions. You know: do healthy stuff, work out, get my house organized now that the bathroom renovations were finally done. Oh well.

Here is my workout list from November:

01: Crunch Fat Burning Pilates
02: LM Pump & Shred
03: Crunch Fat Burning Pilates
04: 25 min Mall Walk
05: 25 min Walk + LM Pump Challenge
16: LM Pump Challenge
17: Crunch Fat Burning Pilates
18: LM Pump & Shred
19: Crunch Burn & Firm Pilates
20: LM Pump & Burn
24: LM Pump Revolution
26: LM Pump & Burn
28: Rockin' Body: Mark, Move & Groove + Party Express

You may notice some gaps in there...Things started off okay, then I came down with a cold...Finally felt better and had an excellent run of workouts. I was feeling really good! Energetic! Until I started feeling crappy again...It felt like the worse case of allergies ever, but allergy meds didn't seem to help much. I have been exhausted and just dragging myself around...And oh look, it's December.

We did make some progress on getting the house back to normal...The living room is almost cleared of stuff that does not belong...A lot has been cleared from the kitchen...The spare room is still uninhabitable, but I'll get to it. By spring for sure, since my parents will probably plan a visit, which will force me to clean!

I finally feel better today. Which means I spent the day running around the house trying to catch up on at least a few of the things that I haven't been doing. I am now tired, but at least it is the kind of tired that comes from having been busy getting things done, which is completely different from the misery-induced tired I had been feeling. 

At this point, I am just hoping that it lasts longer than a week. Or a day.

I have no pretty pictures to share, unless you want to see more pictures of my new bathroom? I did not pick up my camera at all this month. Granted, November is not the most scenic time of year in these parts, but seems to me I usually see something interesting.

But my bathroom is still making me happy so here:

Seriously; this accent tile! I am so glad we stuck to our guns on this when they said they weren't sure whether we could get it or not. I feel like it makes the whole thing.

The tub and surround that we waited 5 weeks for, with the new shower and faucet, etc. We had a plain, basic shower head before so this feels really fancy! It's a spa, every morning.

Love our new light fixtures!

Especially the vanity light.

I'm sure you are as sick of hearing about my bathroom renovations now as I was of living it for two months. I will try to at least have some cute cat pictures next month!