Sunday, May 21, 2017

Spring Cleaning

I know I have been complaining a lot here lately, dumping all my sadness, etc. I kind of feel bad about that! But I feel like it has to go somewhere...

Tuesday was one year since the day we lost Frank. And I still have October 31st coming up, the day we lost Zappa. Those were both very hard days/weeks for me, and while I am doing much better, there are still hard times. I don't feel like I really want to talk to people about it; in some cases because I feel like someone might not understand, in other cases because I don't want to overburden someone. But I do still feel the need to articulate my feelings now and then, and, oddly, I also want to remember it.  It's part of my life, and I know that memories can grow fuzzy and change over time...That is the main reason I keep blogging, I think; I like to be able to look back.

I am finally feeling better; all over that cough, the weather is improving - we've had a sunshine-y weekend which has been fabulous. I was looking at the calendar last night and I could not believe that it has only been two weeks since my over-booked Saturday on May 6th.

We went to see Guardians of the Galaxy 2 week before last, which was a blast. We hardly ever go to the movies these days; we went with friends and had a great time. I had a chat with my manager at work this week that made me feel better about some things; not that anything is likely to change, but at least I know that I am not alone. Planning summer vacation with the family, plus some weekend trips in the summer and fall. It's been busy, but it's been good stuff.

I haven't had much time for painting lately...which may be partly due to the fact that I can't quite settle on what to do next. But I finally filled in the blank space at the bottom of my cloud practice piece from a month ago.

Last Friday, May 12, a little ball of sunshine was delivered to my house by a friend. Meet Isobel.

Seven weeks old, she hit the ground running as soon as she arrived, and she has not stopped since. Interesting times around here, for sure. It was sudden, in that I was not actively looking, but I think she is what I needed. I am simultaneously happy and other words, back to the cat-mom status quo.

At this point, I feel like I should share the fact that Isobel is not the only cat in the house at the moment. Not all that many people know this, but I took in a rescue that had nowhere else to go at the beginning of April. She actually arrived on April 1, and she was not at all happy to be here. It was not really mentioned until she was dropped off that she doesn't like people and she scratches. I can also tell you from experience that she bites.

This is Trixie:

It's been hard to get a good picture because she mostly hangs out in the basement. It has been a long road to get her to trust, but we're getting there. She's not too happy about the new addition, but I'm hoping she'll adjust. It took her about a month to warm up to me, so here's hoping...

Monday is Victoria Day, and I took Friday off work to give myself a 4 day weekend. It has been too long! Having some sunny days off with no obligations does a lot to improve my outlook on life.

I've been trying to get some spring cleaning done. We've been barbecuing and enjoying the sun. Playing with the kitten to tire her out (kittens are adorable, but I'm kind of looking forward to her growing into a lazy, sleepy cat).

 So that is life at the moment. It has been good to finally have a weekend where I have some energy, where I'm feeling rested and relaxed. The next set of problems will come along, no doubt, but for now I'm going to enjoy the rest of my long weekend.

Wednesday, May 10, 2017

Deep Breath

Well. That did not go as planned. 

Looking back at my last post, I had been struggling with getting back into my workout habit, and not feeling well. I was getting over one cold, Husband came down with a second cold, and you guessed it...I got sick again.

Had to go to Nova Scotia (while sick) and accompany Husband to see the eye specialist  (while sick), did enjoy a nice visit with family  (while sick), then head back home on Saturday so I could go to my last painting class (you guessed it - while sick). And I was still sick for a week after that. It is only the past week where the cough and rattle in my chest is pretty much gone. 

Saturday was a super busy day since I managed to overbook myself - volunteering Saturday morning (in the rain, praying that I wouldn't end up getting sick again), and painting event from 3-5 pm, in between that I went home to pick up Husband because it was also free comic book day, so a visit to our local comic book store was necessary. And then we went out to dinner.

Sunday I mostly took it easy and puttered around the house, but when Monday morning rolled around it really felt like I hadn't had a weekend.

And I was hoping to ease back into some workout this week, but it has ended up that we've had something going on every evening after work. Really abnormal for us.

Deep breath. 

Here's hoping that next week things will be back to normal.

I got to bed right on time last night - a few minutes early even. I don't remember a thing after I turned out the light and put my head down on the pillow. But it was so hard to wake up this morning. Maybe because it has been grey and rainy for the past couple of days. 

When I was in the shower I remembered a dream. Details of the beginning part are fuzzy; I was with my family, I was trying hard to wake up but I felt like I couldn't. Some obscure family member came to visit, and they or someone said that now I had to wake up, but it was so hard to keep my eyes open. I was in a car driving, with my Dad in the passenger seat telling me to do all kinds of crazy things; yes, drive through those bushes! Drive up the stairs! I was trying to step on the break pedal but it wasn't there or it wasn't working, and it was so hard to keep my eyes open. 

And finally, I was at home in my bedroom, lying on the bed with the sun shining through the window, and Frank was sleeping on top of me. And in my dream I thought: Frank can't ...Something, I'm not sure what, but in my dream I knew something wasn't right, but my dreaming mind came out with: " but he can still sleep with me."

This morning, in my still somewhat groggy state I remembered that, and puzzled over it for a short while, then moved on. It came back to me later today, and I felt sad because Frank can't sleep with me. Coming up on a year now actually. But slowly getting a bit easier.

From my last painting class. We went outdoors to paint. It was chilly, a grey, overcast kind of day. But it was an interesting experience.

Saturday morning at the park for the annual Walk for Autism. We were having a down pour, but people still showed up to walk. Then I went home and changed into dry clothes so I could get on with my day.

Painting event - Paint Your Pet. You send a picture (or pictures), they do the sketch for you, and you paint it.  It felt unfinished, it was a rush to get done (it always is for me), but it still makes me happy to look at a painting of Frank.